@ for both…
For Men & For Women & My Classes
You’ll see women ‘leading’ and men ‘following’ (it does happen and pay close attention to these people, because truth be told, they’re 1000 times better than you right now, and about 100 times better than any dancer in the room, and there’s a reason for it), how are they able to do that, they don’t have the right shoes ? In this instance, its not about the shoes folks, its about the skillset. However, having good footwear will save your feet for those long hours on the dance floor. So I recommend the following for leaders OR followers for my classes, practicas, and/or even at the milongas: SANSHA’S. Dynamo S30′s. You will thank me later. There is ONE and ONLY 1 precautionary tale about these shoes. They have no arch support. So do not wear them longer than 6 hrs at a stretch per day. However you can add arch support for them. Also they run small. So get 2 sizes bigger than your normal street shoe, at least for the men.
Because you’re ordering online, you’ll have to order several pairs to get just the right fit. However, if you’re in New York City, you can go by their retail outlet on 8th Avenue and 53rd St. (which is actually on the corner of 53rd Street and just a little back from the street) go there. I strongly suggest if you go, that you call them a few days ahead of your visit and make certain that they have the colors that you want in the sizes that you want. They will order them for you with no obligation for you to buy them. You’re going to end up buying them anyway, but its good to know that a retailer like this exists. Now lastly, and here’s the real secret to working with these shoes: Walk in them for a few hours a week. You need to break in the pads of the feet, so find some SOFT Concrete. Not too coarse or pourous, but soft concrete, the kind that’s very similar to slate or shale in texture, and has just enough coarsness to it, but not much. And you want to scrape the sole, and really the pads of the sole, against that surface. The reason being is that you want to make the rubber sole pliable for later on down the line when you start doing ochos and sacadas and all sorts of craziness.
So my advice is this: Buy a pair of Sansha’s!
@ for the men…
For the Men.
First things first. Yes, you can walk into any dance supply store and buy ‘tango shoes’ for men. Unlike the ladies there isn’t just one brand that i’d recommend. Its really about comfort for you. Because these shoes for men, look and feel pretty much like normal dress street shoes with a slightly more tailored heel and pad. And really truth be told, store bought shoes from a dance supply store from my perspective look about as much fun as watching paint dry. It just feels so…plastic and ballroomy to me. FAKE!
Or you can go out and buy a pair of Puma’s today and be very happy. You’ll look very flashy. However, as I said to the ladies above, you haven’t learned how to walk yet. So my cheap advice to you is bring a pair of old sneakers to class and put masking tape over the pads of your feet! I know there are a lot of tango teachers out there that will cringe at that advice. Not to mention I’m undercutting the dance supply stores. Fact is: LEARN HOW TO WALK FIRST, then go invest in a pair of shoes.
At some point you’re going to want a real pair of flashy leader shoes. And there are many of them, so here’s a few links for you to play with. And YES, you’ll be ordering these DIRECTLY from Argentina.
Victoria Shoes: http://www.victoriotangoshoes.com.ar/
Neo Tango: http://www.neotangoshoes.com/
and my personal favorite
2×4 al Pie: http://www.2x4alpie.com/
That last one is by far and above, the flashiest of the bunch, and also in my opinion the swankiest, and the most functional of the bunch!. Why ? Most leader shoes, if not all of them, in my opinion after having been through a fair amount of them to the tune of $150 to $200 a pop, suffer from one thing that you can’t get away from in the tango world: they’re all leather, and therefore need to be ‘broken in’, and furthermore are all stiff in the wrong areas. For my money, I want a shoe that looks like a tango shoe but ISN’T one. Its light on the foot, soft to the touch, has a minimal cheese factor, and is functional like a sneaker but with ‘support’, and has the same capabilities as my pumas with the pad of the foot replaced! This shoe does all of that and more, in spades. Order a pair and you’ll see what I mean. They come with 3 different soles that are interchangable for different surfaces that you may dance on. They come with an inner soul that has arch support but yet the shoe itself is much like a dance sneaker. Its All leather and VERY VERY soft and light. There’s give but not GIIIIVE! And lastly, they look pretty damned HOT. For my 540.00 Pesos ($150 american) I want a shoe that does all of that and will last more than 20 seconds. 2×4 Al Pie do that, and then some.
@ for the ladies….
For the Ladies.
Comme Il Fauts. That’s it. Look no further. Really. Nothing else matters. Drama aside, to be certain there are other shoes made by other people, and I’m certain they are FAB, well made shoes (take for instance Robin Tara Shoes in Maine, yes Maine, she makes a fab line of shoes), or NeoTango shoes, however for me I don’t want anything else. Its a personal choice. So you’re saying to yourself, ok where can I get these FAB shoes Miles ? The shoes can be purchased online but not in a ‘retail store’. If you’re looking online, you will more than likely not be able to see the whole shoe (you have to email them to show you the WHOLE shoe AND you’re still going to have to send you several shoe sizes to see if they fit properly), which can be rather expensive. You will NOT find them at your local dance supply store so don’t even look for them. Your best bet is find a tango festival and try and buy there at the festival. Aside from a tango festival, unless you’re going to Argentina directly, you may find a pair on ebay.com. But again, you’re going to want to try them on.
In short, these shoes have to be ordered directly from Argentina, or you have to buy them at a tango festival. You want to try them on first, and then keep trying them on. I used to own a pair, until they burned up in a fire (yes I’m a guy, and no Im not gay or a closet cross dresser. In order to teach what I know I had to put myself in the role of a follower and that meant being in 3 in heels and to dance socially in them), and I gotta tell ya, they were the best investment of my life. I don’t have an opportunity to dance in them anymore but when I did…I loved them! Now for the down side. Don’t buy them. Keep your money in your pocket, you’re going to need that for private lessons for a while until you learn how to walk properly! Some teachers will put you in heels immediately. I’m not one of them. I believe that you have to learn how to walk first, and more over learn to use your feet, because you haven’t been all your life in respect to tango. So before you buy the most amazing pair of $200.00 shoes you’ll ever own…learn how to use your feet first!
Update: There are some retailers online that I can recommend.
Julia Bella – https://www.julia-bella-store.com/default/customer/account/login/
Julia’s shoes are excellent, and she’s really good about taking care of you. I’ve sent many a follower to her, and she’s always been good. She really does match the shoe to the follower. “Oh if only she had my size…sigh!” Because her site forces a login, you’ll get to see the whole shoe online, and pay for it online. Nice.
Jennifer Bratt – http://malevashoes.com/shoponline.html. While I’ve never purchased Jen’s shoes, or sent anyone to her. She does have a loyal follower following and a really good reputation for selling this brand of shoe. She usually has a really good selection in your size!
1 Reason To Stay
[note: I am not the sole of all wisdom here, this is just my observation of the available data. I am by the very facts, coming late to the conversation, and in point of fact just a very very advanced beginner. I just happen to be a lot more advanced than the people I am teaching. In another 40 years, assuming I live that long, I may actually have a clue as to how to walk...maybe. Having said that, my viewpoint on tangobliss maybe complete rubbish. Its just my viewpoint. And it may or may not be valid, but I do know this, that this one experience can literally change your whole perspective! And once it starts to happen on a regular basis....god help you.]
The Reason To Stay.
My last post was on 25 Reasons to Quit Tango.
This is on the singular reason to stay. And what is that reason ? Its tangobliss.
Tangobliss is that ethereal state of being fully aware of one’s own body, one’s own movement, and being in relationship to another human being, in time to tango music that can create an ‘other worldly’ state of existence that is at once transcendent and again rather grounding.
That is one explanation, and which doesn’t even begin to cover it.
For the practical folks reading this, tangobliss consists of several parts of the ethereal, several parts of the physical, several parts proficiency, and 2 parts musical. When you put them all together, those elements can create near perfect conditions for TangoBliss to occur. Read that last line again, there’s a lot of uncertainty in there. Then again, read the first part of that sentence again. There’s even more there. TangoBliss can not be manufactured, it can not be created, but it can be generated by presence of other parts being present. If you will pardon the gardening reference, the proper fertile and well fertilized ground must be present.
Five Elements.
Here are 5 elements that I have witnessed, and been party to that can contribute to the existence of tangobliss.
1.) Proficiency of Skill. The truth is that you need to be at the top of your game. Which means, a light, soft, clear, and consistent embrace that does not pull, push, poke, prod, or intrude in any way, shape, or form. Your walk must be clean…precise, sharp. Your bodily presence must be FULL and fully committed. You must have a clean, and clear foundation, and a command of your basics. Period.
2.) Know The Music. Hearing a song a few times just doesn’t cut it. You must know every single orchestral arrangement, almost to the point of which piece is playing which part, and then some. Know it cold. Know it in your sleep, know it like you wrote the damned thing. That, my friends, is KNOWING THE MUSIC. Anything less than that is a waste of your time. Know it cold. Here’s a ‘for instance’: When I say to you, “D’Arienzo”. You should know where he was born, what his influences were, where he started, what changed the course of his life, who the major players of his orchestra were…and so on. That, my friends, is knowing the music cold. Know who played what is a huge piece of knowing your music. Its not just knowing the notes and where they fall. Because the truth is that the music that was written on the page, was done so in a lot of cases AFTER the fact of the recordings, and in a lot of cases is an approximation of the music that was actually played.
3.) Command of Vocabulary. I can’t stress this enough. Gancho, Gancho, Gancho is NOT the way to creating tango bliss. Its vocabulary. Its also SPICE, not the dance itself. One’s dance should likely consist of the following: Walk, Walk, Walk. Ocho, Ocho, Ocho. Molinete. Cross! That’s it, that’s all! Anything more than that should be SPICE to the meal of WALKING! So if you’re going to perform that fancy cool move you saw X, Y, or Z perform, you should practice that thing until you are blue in the face, and then practice it some more, and when you’re done with that…PRACTICE IT SOME MORE. Then about 6 months from now, late at night, near the end of the milonga, with a partner that you’ve danced with before, then pull out the flashy move ONCE…and then let it go.
Having a tool does not necessitate its use.
Having a command of your available vocabulary means being able to deploy vocabulary without pulling, hanging, pushing on anyone at all, in any way, shape, or form, with suitable ease and sufficient simplicity with clear, and precise form and shape, that you should be able to replicate it with any partner of any skill level, at any time, anywhere, to nearly any piece of music, to make it musical, fun, bright and clear. Period. That is a command of your vocabulary.
4.) The Ethereal. This one is hard to quantify. However, it starts with a clean spirit and constitution. An open mind, an open heart, and an open space in your life. That does not mean that you’re trying to fill a hole, but rather the opposite. You have a small amount of personal holes, and there is a clean headspace that you can enter and stay in wihtout effort of a pain or a specter of a personal gaff that’s is in your head space. Heavy hearts, too much interpersonal work…not gonna fly here. But rather the polar opposite. I believe that for the Ethereal to occur you must in fact be clean of spirit.
5.) The Physical. You must be in good physical condition. Can you walk a mile and not breathe hard ? Then you’re in good condition. Can you run a mile and not kill yourself ? You’re in better physical condition. Can you go up and down a flight of stairs with ease ? Good. Now can you go up and down the same flight several times without breathing hard ? Even better. Do you smoke ? Do you drink ? Do you smoke and drink ? I’m not talking about the occasional glass of wine. But I am talking about the constant need for a cigarette. Now to the other part of the Physical. You must be comfortable with your body, and you must be comfortable with being touched and touching that isn’t creepy, sexual, or that doesn’t raise the hackles on the backs of people’s necks! You must be very comfortable being body on body, and have it all be about the dance, and nothing else.
Two More
Those 5 elements are the elements that can contribute to a tangobliss experience. However, it is NOT tangobliss. Its not. They are contributing factors so that the experience has good soil to take root in. There are 2 other elements that must be present for the experience to occur, and these are seemingly difficult to attain in any sufficient quantities, so much so that you may very well find yourself wondering what in the hell you’re waiting around for…this is where boredom usually sets in, and you feel a little like Godot. The two other things that must be present are:
a.) A Partner of Sufficient Skill to dance with.
b.) Being in the right place, at the right, time with the right partner of sufficient skill.
And again, even those may not be enough.
The first of these two are elusive enough as it is. Looking out on a room full of dancers, you see varying levels of skill, and the more proficient dancers tend to keep to themselves, depending on what communities that you’re dancing in (for a variety of reasons), and its those very dancers that you need to improve your skill, just a few tandas with the more proficient dancers on a regular basis could in fact change your whole reality. However that is, unfortunately, not the case. Sadly. So its easy to see that getting “THAT” dance is elusive. And when someone new comes into the equation, its understandable that you’d want to try them out to see if they possess what it is that you have been waiting for.
And now to the latter of these two…The Right Time. Oy. Need I say more ?
A Singularity
Ok, now that we’ve described the shape of TangoBliss, now we get to the heart of the matter, the sole reason to stay with the dance.
Just 2 seconds of TangoBliss, and you really don’t need much else. There is no drug, no addiction, no want, need or desire that can be more powerful than TangoBliss. For 10 seconds of TangoBliss you will literally sell your soul, but what happens in those 10 seconds can seemingly drag on for an eternity. A very very looooong eternity, that seemingly never stops, has no vista edge that is discernible, or can create such a shift at the base of being a human being. Now think about this – think about those couples that you see dancing for several tandas that seem to take up the entire night. They enjoy dancing with each other more than anything else, they may or may not be romantically involved, but that doesn’t enter into it. If a tanda is 3 songs by the same artist/orchestra, and each song is about 3 minutes long, then a tanda is 9 minutes. A couple of tandas would be about 4 tandas or 27 minutes, which if we round it up…a half hour. Several Tandas….you can easily see how this is going to stretch…right ?
Now imagine this: An entire Hour of TangoBliss. Now try two. Three. Four. By the time you’re done, the night has gone by….and an eternity has opened up to you.
Tangobliss: Once you have a small taste of, you will move mountains to have another taste. It is an ailment for which there is no cure, except MORE of the ailment! And what a lovely ailment and a predicament to find yourself in.
Be appreciative that you have the facility to hear tangobliss when it calls your name, be rapturous when tangobliss walks in your door, be ecstatic when tangobliss takes you into its embrace, be thankful after tangobliss has left. But while you’re in it…stay as long as you can. For it will not come your way again…..until the next tanda!
tango floorcraft
(from the posting on this site: http://www.barefootango.com/thoughts/floorcraft)
What is Floorcraft ? And why is it relevant ?
The short answer is this: Floorcraft is in its essence an observance and awareness of other couples in the room in relation to you, your dance partner, and vocabulary choices one makes whilst staying in the line, lane, and progression of dance of the rotunda at a milonga. Usually floorcraft issues arise due to the amount (or lack there of) of the available space a dancing pair can take up, *AND* at the same time the application of certain codes of etiquette of the dance. Like for instance, not stepping on anyone’s foot, or trying to keep your dance safe and contained as much as is humanly possible, etc.
Floorcraft is probably the single most talked about thing that most people complain about on either side of the gender divide. At the same time, most people, unless you point it out to them, have absolutely no idea what Floorcraft is, and/or why its an absolute necessity. The following is a paraphrased statement by Tony Rathburn out of Denver applies very nicely: Floorcraft is Dancing like the way you should Drive!. Well said. As I have learned in dancing over the years…some folks really do need it spelled out for them on exactly what that really means.
What is below is not a complete list, but its my interpretation of the list of suggestions for floorcraft on a social dance floor. Your mileage my vary, and I reserve the right to change this list as the need arises (smile). This list is by no means complete, nor is it as concise as it needs to be. It is a work in progress and I’m not the sole author here (Thanks to Tony, Homer, Vanja, Tom, and many many others).
Rules of Floorcraft
1.) Leaders when entering the line of dance, make eye contact with the on coming traffic of leaders and acknowledge that you’d like to enter the line of dance and ONLY enter when you have consented acknowledgement of the leader next in the lane of dance. This also means do NOT allow your follower to jump onto the floor or into the flow of dance. YOU as a leader are responsible for her. However if there is an open gap in the line of dance, you MAY be able to slip in, but that gap should be several partners wide. Don’t think a few feet here, but rather YARDS of space.
2.) Remember that we want to have 1 couple merging into the Rotunda at a time, IE: Queue up!
3.) Keep your dance vocabulary limited to the size of the Lane and the Progression of dance of the rotunda. Avoid, stepping backwards into the line of dance, avoid leaving the lane of dance, and respect the space of the couples ahead you, behind you, and next to you, try not to tailgate or hold up the progression of the rotunda.
4.) Try to form multiple LANES of dance so that we can all share the space together. Keep the lanes moving in an orderly progression. Try to keep the ‘flashy’ moves to an absolute minimum, so that it doesn’t interfere or frighten other couples.
5.) When collisions happen: Smile, Make Eye Contact to acknowledge the collision, and then *APOLOGIZE* as soon as is humanly possible, even if you think you are right.
6.) In crowded spaces, try to keep your vocabulary limited to foundational movements in close or open, and really try to keep the follower’s feet on the floor. If you must throw a boleo, aim for the edges of the dance floor, NEVER into the line or another lane of dance.
7.) When changing lanes of dance, you really do have to signal, which means catching the eye of the lead in the next lane of dance and asking his permission to cross his line of dance.
8.) Keep your dance moving. A good rule of thumb is that you want to keep moving and not stop, so that means getting rid of the flashy displays, and keep your follower walking, in the progression of the rotunda (or down line and lane of dance).
For a more detailed list: http://www.totango.net/floor.html
tango étiquette
THE GUIDELINE
What follows is my own personal take on some rules of the road for going to a Milonga that I’ve picked up via observation, experience, and directly being told by X, Y, and Z over a period of time (which may or may not be valid), it is a list of things to keep in the back of your mind. They are guidelines at best, not hard and fast ‘rules’ per se, but ideas to keep in the back of your head while at a Milonga. Plus there is also Common Sense rules of the road here….
This is just a warning shot, a heads up if you will, there are strong opinions here, and there are also several do’s and don’ts in the list for lead and follow. Those marked as do or don’t, I strongly suggest you follow religiously, unless otherwise noted, let it be a guideline. Above all else, remember that Argentine Tango is a SOCIAL DANCE, and that its about being ’social’. With that in mind…read on:
For Leaders: Here!
For Followers: Here!
25 Reasons to Quit Tango!
[NOTE: Warning, this post contains explicit thoughts and language. Be careful. Further more and lastly this is only a partial listing of some of the complaints and concerns I've heard from people in the time I've been dancing.]
At some point along the curve of your tango insanity, you will likely come to a road sign that says, “QUIT TANGO” with an arrow pointing in another direction. More than likely one of the reasons to quit are below. All of these reasons are valid, and only 1 of them may be real at the time, but they all come down to only 1 thing: Tango isn’t doing it for you the same way anymore.
So first let’s look at some of these reasons below, then we’ll flesh those out, and finally, we’ll get to the nitty gritty.
Possible Reasons:
1.) Tango Politics.*
2.) Nobody to Dance with on a Regular Basis.
3.) BAD, need I say more ? *
4.) Idiots, Ingrates, and Assholes.
5.) Less than desirable floorcraft. (see my earlier post on the subject) *
6.) Less than desirable musical choices on a regular basis. *
7.) Not enough venues to dance at.*
8.) Its the SAME (X number) people at EVERY single event. I’ll go INSANE!
9.) I don’t like myself anymore, I don’t like these people. Golf is much simpler.
10.) Its NOT BsAs, its (fill in the blank), do the math!
11.) My husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t dance and they’re jealous and want me to stop. *
12.) Someone keeps wanting to dance with me that I don’t like and its a small town and I don’t want to hurt their feelings so I should just stop.
13.) Someone hates me and doesn’t want me around. I feel like a leper and a social tango outcast. *
14.) I’m not good enough.*
15.) This is not fun anymore.
16.) I don’t hear the music.
17.) The shoes, the music, the clothes…good lord Im going to go bankrupt!
18.) I haven’t been to BsAs and I’ve got no interest in going.
19.) No time.*
20.) Its like high school out there, and I HATED high school!
21.) Kids, need I say more ?
22.) Salsa (could be: Blues, Swing, Ballroom…) Baby! *
23.) Sex. I’m not getting laid as much as I used to because of this f*cking dance!*
24.) None of the Above.
25.) All of the Above in some measure or form.
A Few Details.
Tango Politics. This means for those of you that teach, organize, or teach and organize, that you have had enough of the local infighting of teachers for students, that you have had enough of the nice-nice game that happens, and really just want to speak without having to guard your words, be criticized, be critical of, you just want to be yourself for a while…and not deal with all the silliness that comes with being at the center of a tango community. Its a lot of work. Its painstaking work actually. You’re always working to support other people, you’re a tango resource for your students, for the people that frequent your venue, you’re always at or near the center of activity…its f*cking tiring. Everything you do or say is personified a 1000 times in some way, shape, or form. And to be honest with you, you are just SICK of it all. It’d be nice to kick back and not have to worry about all that stuff anymore…wouldn’t it ?
BAD. You look around a room and you see all measure of bad on any given night. You see the same guys pushing and pulling their followers. You see the same followers who you WISH would just go take some private lessons, please for the love of christ. Just go take some lessons, please! These people have no idea what the ‘real’ tango is all about, because they’d never survive in BsAs. This is what YOU see, Im not saying this is what I see, but you see it that way, and its REALLY disturbing to you.
Floorcraft http://www.barefootango.com/thoughts/floorcraft.
Musical. Let’s face it, its the same 400 or 500 songs you hear from 10 to 12 year span of tango music. Its in a different order sometimes, played by different people, at different intervals. You have your favorites, maybe. But realistically its the same music. Why is there this obsession over the same 400 recordings of 70 year old music that sounds like it came out of a tin can ? I mean really you’ve got better things to do with your time right ? Like for instance, sorting your lint collection for one. I for one have let me lint collection go and I need to get back to it.
Venues. If you live in a small town, you’re lucky if you have ONE milonga a month, let alone a week. 2 milongas in the same month ? Wow, what a luxury! Why learn this arcane dance if there’s only ONE milonga month, and its populated by all sorts of bad (see above) ? What’s the point. Or you have to drive like an hour just to get to a milonga, and maybe just maybe dance for 9 minutes, or 1 tanda with BAD, and then drive home. What’s up with that ? What’s the point ?
Romantic Partners. Oy. Talk about a drag. They don’t dance. They’re not going to dance. And they don’t want you to dance either. You love them, they ‘love’ you, or something resembling love, and they just want you to stop dancing because its just wrong to be in someone else’s embrace for that long and not want to have sex with that person. Right ? Well that’s their argument anyway. It makes them uncomfortable, and really down right surly to think of you in the arms of another person. There’s something not right about that. Or something along those lines. Really they just don’t get the whole dancing thing. And its causing WAAAY tooo much strife in the relationship. Is tango really worth all of that ?
Social Tango Leprosy. You have experienced social tango leprosy. Its not fun to walk into a room and feel the hate on you. There’s no way in hell you’ll ever survive it. Its just best to stay home and deal and watch TV. That level of disgust with who you are as a person is just too much for any one person to bare for any great length of time, let alone months if not years in some cases. [Miles Speaking] I’ve been on the receiving end of this far too many times, never the giving end, and to be honest with you…its tiring. I’ve wanted to hang up my shoes more times than I can shake a stick at simply because of this reason. No one likes to be hated on. [/end Miles Speaking]
Not Good Enough. You think, believe, or know that YOU suck as a dancer. You can not put one foot in front of the other. And what’s worse is that the whole room knows it. Its true. You can’t dance. Period. Why bother ? You should just go home. Right now. Not kidding. Stop reading. Disconnect from your facebook tango friends. Stop. Cease and desist all this tango jabber. You can NOT dance. True dat! Well that’s what you believe….
No Time. You are a busy busy busy person. And life just keeps pulling you in other directions. You’ve a life, a job, a wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a husband to support and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You love tango but you love _______ more. I mean really, its like high school anyway. So why bother ? Right ?
Other Dances. Salsa (or ___________) is faster, easier to learn. There’s more salsa venues, more salsa dancers, and there’s just more. And you can dance all night long. I never sit at Salsa. There’s always someone to dance with. With Tango I sit a lot. I can’t ask anyone to dance, or when I do I get shot down. I feel like a social leper half the time like Im high school. Salsa is just easier. Its more fun. I have a better time there.
SEX. I haven’t been laid in _____ (days/months/years) because of this fucking dance! All of my friends are tango dancers and I don’t want to date any of them or sleep with any of them. My father always used to say to me, never shit where you eat, it will always taste like shit…eventually! Not to mention its also not that good for you. You know a person has NEEDS and I NEED to have SEX. I just can’t figure out a way to have sex, dance, and not have sex with a dancing partner that doesn’t end in a romantic dysfunctional explosion all over the dance floor and we have to divvy up the milongas!
There are a ton more reasons to leave tango than what I’ve written here. I’ve gone through every manner of these myself. In any number of variations.
However there is only 1 reason to stay though.
TANGOBLISS
Tango is supposed to be fun, yes. Its not supposed to be so serious that you can’t see straight. Sure there are moments of intense concentration, however, if you’re not smiling, laughing, and having a good time, then there’s something not right here. Really.
However, fun is only a smaller piece of the picture: TangoBliss is where its at baby! If you say FUN, people can relate to that! However, tell them ‘TangoBliss’ and they stare at you funny and then you have to explain it to them.
Hmmm, but how to create TANGOBLISS ?
First things first. Improve your skills. Really. You want a whole different quality of tango fun, a whole different level ? Private Lessons, or Classes on a regular basis from a variety of teachers. That will most certainly change your perspective and what you’re able to do, and there by change what’s possible for you!
Secondly, get out of Dodge! Really. Go some where else. Repeatedly. You need to get out of your home dancing turf, go experience what tango is like in other communities. Not just once, Not just for a festival. But a lot! Variety is the spice of tango. Has it occurred to you that all of the reasons listed above are due to boredom or lack of excitation. Remember what it was like to go to a milonga for the first time…or the first few times ? That’s what you want. That anticipation of the unexpected!
Thirdly, I can’t speak for the high school aspects of tango other than to say that some people are small, petty, and really need to check themselves at the door but rarely do, myself included! I mean its just tango, rrrright ? However, you can improve your own experience simply by smiling…A LOT! Don’t look like a stiff!
Fourthly. Really, Time is a bitch, there are no two ways about that. You never have enough time in the day to do the things you want. Other things always get in the way. My father always used to say to me, “Son, you make time for the things that are important to you.” He was right. You’ll make time for tango or you won’t.
Fifthly, really relationships happen. They come and go like the wind. People come into your life and then they leave for one reason or another. If someone that you love, and they’re not dancing with you, or won’t, trust me the reason that they don’t want you to dance, has nothing to do with you…it has everything to do with them. Telling someone not to do something because it hurts YOU is no reason to for them not to do it. Its selfish and wrong, period.
Lastly, if you want to leave tango, please go right ahead, but don’t announce it to the world, do it. However before you do, trust me when I say that there’s a reason you are here in this dance at this point in time. There is something for you to learn about yourself, about the people around you, for you to interact in the world, and something else that you haven’t even considered yet.
There is more to the ‘one reason’ you should stay, actually there are a lot of reasons to stay. One that comes to mind, is that every once in a while, along comes a tanda that changes everything. They happen less and less frequently with time for a variety of reasons, but when they do happen…wouldn’t you rather that the door way for those moments to happen be open than naught ? Close the door on Tango but think of what you’d be shutting off…think about it for a moment. Where else, in what other place in your life do you get that tanda that just blows your whole circuitry ?
As Garrison Keillor says at the end of every one his The Writer’s Almanac Podcasts, “Be Well, Do Good Work, and…Keep in touch…”
Now read the one reason to stay.
thank you!
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